My Best Friends Wedding

Remember the classic question about which came first, the chicken or the egg? I used to wonder if movies were inspired by life or was it the other way round. Mr J is going to get married to his childhood pal, his best friends sister. Well, in this case both the best friends are of the same gender so i don't think that there's going to be any confusion. Its the first real life love story of a good friend and it feels like watching a romantic movie in 3-d. And this time the feeling is good.

Victim of Democracy

Moshi Moshi,

I'm a member of a democratic society. I've been taught to believe that everything operates out of a sense of justice. If I feel wronged, I've been provided with a court. If I act wrongly, justice will be meted out in due proportion. My leaders have taken an oath to serve my country loyally and faithfully.

My workplace regards me as an asset. Since I am in a democratic society, I should expect honesty and integrity in every aspect of civil society. Thats because everyone is frightened of being punished. Everybody wants to remain clean in the eyes of other people. So I do what I have to do, honestly and sincerely. I sometimes put in extra effort to do what I have to do. Because according to the framework of a democratic society, I will be justly rewarded. Yes, I only do the things that are expected out of me and are legal. I ain't passionate about anything and therefore if left on my own I wouldn't know what to do.

People around me are aggressive. People around me are louder. As per social ratings, they are smarter. They are rewarded in terms of money and recognition. That is because we are a democracy, and everything operates out of a sense of justice. I don't know what they did, but they must've done something. Some people around me aren't talented, smart, good looking. Simple ordinary folk. Its not that they don't want to become extraordinary but because of the way they are wired their efforts don't reap much profit. Since we live in a democratic society, they will be punished for giving less than what the others have given. Other people who don't even know them will be given the privilege to judge them.

I was taught that to be judged mediocre is a sign of uselessness. I was taught to live so that i can sparkle in other peoples eyes. The more rewards I get, the better I am.

But why do I find me psyching myself to believe this?

Relief Relief Relief

Its my last day at SAP Labs!!!! I'm free!!

Status Update

Its ironic how different things are right now and how they were just two months ago. Today I have what I had always wanted. I've got work ( if you ask tere paas kya hai...you know my answer) and I've got a temporary goal. Plus the possibility of going back to my professional home (yea..thats gvc. Not sure how things are over there though. Hope I feel the same connection). And now I keep wishing that, for at least a week, I go back to my pre-project state. As of today, I work without looking left or right, without wasting even a single passing moment and therefore do not have time to study and my social life is about as vibrant as a reclusive tibetan monk or a cloistered nun. I don't talk to my parents, siblings, relatives and friends. Well people, if by chance you are reading this, I suppose you can forgive me (if it was an issue).

So what am I cribbing about? (yup...I crib about everything. And if I don't, it means something is wrong). I spend so much time doing my work, preparing for CAT and in the bargain sacrificing the small (and only) pleasures of life, all in the hope that it will going to pay off. BUT I DON'T SEE IT HAPPENING. My performance at office has not been satisfactory. My scores in SIM CAT's are pathetic (yup..second time in a row did not clear the cutoffs). My attempts at playing in a band have just been shoved up my ass. And now I have so much work piled up on me but I'm still writing this stupid status update.

Its too much to take
Its too much to make
For another's sake
An image which is fake.

Career Change

Dad broke the news of my selection into RIL last night. My first reaction was disbelief, then shock and then confusion. And I am still confused. I guess the decision to make a career change will always be difficult. The factors which are plaguing me are

• Why am I unhappy? Is it the job or the company or the location?
• Would I have been unhappy if I wasn't in Labs?
• Will I cope up with all the grime, dirt and noisy machinery which will accompany me for the rest of my life if I chose to accept the offer?
• What role does money play into my life?
• How strong is my long term ambition?
• Can I go back into hardcore engineering?

After putting my heart and soul into the preparation for CAT, I am beginning to wonder if this offer is worth taking. But, if I do get into this, my chances of getting into a very good college for an international MBA is very very high. Yet, I am unsure what to do. As always, I have to rely on God to help me with my extra unsure, turbulent and vascillating mental and emotional fabric. However the main source of my worry is the imminent loss of.....

I'll be back

I wish I could say that. But SAP Labs is like Hotel California : You can check out any time you like but you can never leave.

Mob Psychology

On my way back home through the treacherous stretch between whitefield and old madras road, our company bus driver (apparently drunk!!!) in a surge of road rage deliberately dashed a two wheeler who had refused to give way. What followed was something which I will not forget.

Neither the biker nor the bike incurred any damage(Thank God for that). The biker was not a very aggressive guy and so did not create much of a ruckus. However, the passers-by slowly started gathering around the place and the biker started telling them what had happened. That was reason enough to provoke them beyond reason and the first thing they did was to pull out the ignition wires so that the bus wouldn't start. Then they start telling the driver to come out of the bus, very clearly, with the intention to thrash him to pulp. The driver stayed put in his seat, telling them that the road was slippery and thats how the bus skidded and hit the guy ( like he expected anyone to believe it). This only added fuel to the fire and the mob which gathered opened the drivers door and started hitting him. At this point one brave guy in the bus went in to just appease them and tell them not to hit the driver( Considering that all of us were just mute spectators, that was really very gutsy.) The poor chap unfortunately got one punch from one of them and was warned not to interfere. Then one of the guys comes in and tells us all to get out because they were going to burn the bus. Fortunately for us and much more for the driver, the cops arrive ( I guess the huge traffic pile up was an indicator). It took two traffic policemen and one cheetah cop to disperse the mob and save the driver from being lynched.

Question time:
Had the cops not arrived, this would've got ugly. But would anyone be held responsible? Since nothing had happened to the biker or his bike, was the action about to be undertaken in proportion to the severity of the cause? Even (God forbid again) if something did happen to the motorist, should the mob have taken the law into its own hands?

One common argument the people in the mob give is that the criminal will not be brought to justice by the judicial system. Does that mean that in the process of donning the garb of the dispenser of justice, these mobs can break the law and get away ?The judicial system is unbiased in its laziness. And mob fury knows no reason and understands no language other than violence. That is why I opine that mobs ought to be dealt with the only language they understand : violence; directed right back at them by the law enforcement agencies. That is why I believe that demonstrations and agitations should be non violent and non cooperative and have character. Thats probably what Gandhi had in mind. In spite of the fact that I abhor violence, I do not see any other viable solution to tame the fury of a mob.