Status Update

Its ironic how different things are right now and how they were just two months ago. Today I have what I had always wanted. I've got work ( if you ask tere paas kya hai...you know my answer) and I've got a temporary goal. Plus the possibility of going back to my professional home (yea..thats gvc. Not sure how things are over there though. Hope I feel the same connection). And now I keep wishing that, for at least a week, I go back to my pre-project state. As of today, I work without looking left or right, without wasting even a single passing moment and therefore do not have time to study and my social life is about as vibrant as a reclusive tibetan monk or a cloistered nun. I don't talk to my parents, siblings, relatives and friends. Well people, if by chance you are reading this, I suppose you can forgive me (if it was an issue).

So what am I cribbing about? (yup...I crib about everything. And if I don't, it means something is wrong). I spend so much time doing my work, preparing for CAT and in the bargain sacrificing the small (and only) pleasures of life, all in the hope that it will going to pay off. BUT I DON'T SEE IT HAPPENING. My performance at office has not been satisfactory. My scores in SIM CAT's are pathetic (yup..second time in a row did not clear the cutoffs). My attempts at playing in a band have just been shoved up my ass. And now I have so much work piled up on me but I'm still writing this stupid status update.

Its too much to take
Its too much to make
For another's sake
An image which is fake.

Career Change

Dad broke the news of my selection into RIL last night. My first reaction was disbelief, then shock and then confusion. And I am still confused. I guess the decision to make a career change will always be difficult. The factors which are plaguing me are

• Why am I unhappy? Is it the job or the company or the location?
• Would I have been unhappy if I wasn't in Labs?
• Will I cope up with all the grime, dirt and noisy machinery which will accompany me for the rest of my life if I chose to accept the offer?
• What role does money play into my life?
• How strong is my long term ambition?
• Can I go back into hardcore engineering?

After putting my heart and soul into the preparation for CAT, I am beginning to wonder if this offer is worth taking. But, if I do get into this, my chances of getting into a very good college for an international MBA is very very high. Yet, I am unsure what to do. As always, I have to rely on God to help me with my extra unsure, turbulent and vascillating mental and emotional fabric. However the main source of my worry is the imminent loss of.....

I'll be back

I wish I could say that. But SAP Labs is like Hotel California : You can check out any time you like but you can never leave.