One of the most memorable days

Sunday the 16th of december 2007 will be cherished in my boring life as one of the most memorable days. It was on this day that I had my first experience of carol singing, and the joy and happiness I got on that day makes me feel that life is indeed worth living.

It had been a while( about a month or so) since I had last attended the youth groups meeting. So I thought I'd just make a courtesy visit and show my face. For the past couple of weeks while I had intentionally kept away, the youth group members had been going house to house, singing carols. So when I miraculously showed up that day, I happened to get a seat beside Larrissa. Customary hi's were exchanged and then larry asks me " why weren't you coming for carol singing?". I gave a sheepish smile and told her that i was no singer. But i mumbled that I such a low voice that even I had some trouble in deciphering what was just said. Nevertheless, that days meeting was devoted to practicing some of the carols. Dennis gets a confirmation from me that this time I'm going to come along. I had nothing better to do that evening.

So all this said and done, I arrive at St. Peters at bang 17:00 hrs and lo!!! I was just the third person there. Shweta and her friend had arrived a bit earlier. It was a little hard for me to strike a conversation, as they were just acquaitances. However a clumsy effort on my part resulted in the very cliched conversation of when is it going to start, what is the time, etc etc. Larry and sherwyn turn up after a couple of minutes and that was a relief, coz i thought i could get acquainted with both of them and get a few tips from sherwyn on how to play some pieces on the guitar( shery is an exceptional guitarist). Larry, being her friendly self, again comes and strikes a very casual and light hearted conversation. After chatting with her for a bit I go to sherry and again pass some time there till the rest of the gang pours in. We would then leave for carol singing after having tea in the manipal canteen.
During the time I was having tea with the others, I was just the silent observer, enjoying the sarcastic and light hearted conversation the other people were having. I did not feel like pitching in because I felt that I am still a stranger, and that it would be out of place to poke fun at anybody there.
We then went back to church and were trying to figure out who goes in whose bike or car. I was felix's backseat driver for the rest of the evening. Even felix seems to be a very quiet person, and so our time both on the bike and off it seemed to be like a story of friendship blossoming in a silent movie.
The carol singing began at about 6 in the evening. Visited lots of houses. However, with all the fun and excitement around, I somehow felt left out and, like in the canteen, was just listening and enjoying the light humour that was going around. At this point, Larry comes up to me and asks " Why are you so quiet? Are you feeling alone? Maybe its because you are new." And then proceeded with some kind of conversation.
To me it was a really touching gesture. something which no one in my entire life has done before. It made me feel that love does exist in this crazy world. Thanks larry...thanks a lot.
Another event which i really liked that day was dennis' doggie samantha. She was so charged up to see so many people around, she just kept jumping and rubbing and playing and wagging all around, more often than not, spilling the eats and drinks on us.
It was 11.30 by the time we finished. I returned home and had a very good sleep. I just loved the enthu and bonding between dennis, roger, sherry, larry, sujay and vivian. They sure are a very very special group and true friends.
Cheers.

Phase II

On the IT boat did I start sailing
Happy and boisterous about the new beginning
But alas, these ghosts, they keep haunting
Keeping me neither awake nor sleeping.
Yet the battle continues, never ceasing
At every fall, my resilience increasing
This is phase two, will it have an ending?

Me and You

You give me your humanity, I will give you my divinity
You give me your time, I will give you my eternity
You give me your bonds, I will give you my omnipotence
You give me your slavery, I will give you my freedom
You give me your death, I will give you my life
You give me your nothingness, I will give you my all

What next?

Dad keeps telling me about the potential dangers of being in the IT industry. So commonplace are ailments like lack of sleep, bone problems, eye problems blah blah and blah, that most often that not these perils do not figure in the course of discussion. His main contention is what if there is an IT meltdown? What if some lunatic plants a bomb in any of the major financial and IT capitals? Where will you be. Seems to be a pretty valid argument, and it got me thinking.
While coming back after a nice dinner last Saturday, ayyo sumik had mentioned something which about the entire booming economy tied up with IT. When one examines todays economic scene more closely we would find that most if not all of them have had a resurgence because of the IT industry. For example, the high prices quoted for drinks and food in various pubs in the city still does not see them suffering from any losses. The reason is because people have amassed a lot of disposable income. A vast majority of people visiting restaurants and pubs are IT professionals. With this, comes a greater demand for bouncers, DJ's, waiters, card reading machines, power and a lot more. In other words, when people spend money, they propel they economy skywards. The more money people have, the more they are likely to spend. The middle and upper middle class section today has been to a very large extent, the fruits of the IT revolution.
Now, should I decide that I quit IT and join some other industry, say the automobile industry, then how secure would my job be? The answer is, I'm afraid, about just as secure as my current job.
The differences though, would be of salary hikes and promotions and job satisfaction.(Let us ignore those health effects from now.) That is something for people who seriously know what they want to do in life to worry about. For us ordinary mortals, I guess we should be happy about the relatively easy money we get. Let us take it and pursue our hobbies with content.

anime

Ever since I can remember, I've been fascinated with animation. Mom had recorded a few cartoons like tom and jerry on tapes and I've watched them over and over again, always fascinated each time I saw it. As I grew up I encountered animation by marvel comics....most notably spiderman, superman and x-men. I fell in love again, and the adrenaline rush which came through each time i watched them was overwhelming. However, the novelty of the storylines slowly started wearing off. By the time I had entered engineering, my fascination for cartoons like x-men (which was my favourite at that time), johnny quest, jackie chan adventures had started its downward slide.
While in my third year, I happened to notice a particular file named samurai x on the hostel LAN. This marked the beginning of a seemingly unending exploration into the world of anime(Though I must admit that I had a brush with hentai while in high school). However, pressure of placements and landing a good job (give me a break!!!) made anime take a back seat and I had almost forgotten about it until about a year and a half later.
Enter anima. Except for my roomie, I had never expected to see anime fans. Why so? Because of the 400 odd people I knew in the hostel, there were just two people (me and roommate) who adored anime!!!!! And when I meet this character, I am humbled. Her "otaku"-ness surpasses my craze by a huge and incalculable extent. Come to think of it, she even paints anime in her spare time, writes anime stories, eats with anime and will probably have an anime character and punchline on her epitaph. Phew!!!! After putting me on the anime track, I encountered lots of beautifully written and aesthetically made anime. However, none of them matched samurai x. I had watched samurai x in english. However, anima preferred japanese. I really wondered why. Isn't it a pain to keep one eye on the subs and the other on the screen while simultaneously trying to absorb the context, the intensity (or humour), and understand the text? I thought so.
But as she and I have discovered, the Japs are different. When one compares a dubbed and subbed version of the same anime, the dubbed version sounds like a shakespearean play. The tone and manner of speaking adopted by the japs are best suited for anime.
Just after I shifted to SAP I was again blessed(cursed) with long periods of free time. I made full use of the freedom given and my anime exploration started its next leg. Here I got to watch tsubasa chronicles whose music I absolutely adore. I watched around 60 episodes, but couldn't find the remaining. I loved the anime except for one small teeny weeny part. Every time saoran makes a statement about being with and protecting the princess, she looks at him with those humongous eyes and in that very irritating voice, says saoran-kun. aaarghh!!! It gets on my nerves even when I think of it, even when I am writing about it!!!
Then came nodame cantabile. This dorama was quite inspiring. Plus, I love music..so this was a double whammy. After that came claymore. It had all the elements to make a guy happy. Lovely chicks with great assets, great fight sequences, abundance of fan service and a plot which does not drag. The series lasted for just 26 epsiodes and had an open ending. I'm surprised that it does not make a mention among the most popular anime. My guess is that its because there have been loads of previous anime which have a similar storyline.
The high note of my anime journey came after I watched bleach. I don't want to say anything about it here as those who watched it know how good it is, and those who didn't ought to do it the first thing after they finish reading ma post. 155 episodes of pure entertainment. (Okay..you can subtract the fillers and a few cliched humour scenes.)My new roomie who until a few days back used to think that it was kiddie stuff has beome an anime fan. And in the course of flirting with the technical leader of his project, he scored thousands of points BY GIVING HER MY BLEACH DVD!!!!! So you see that the realm of anime's influence streches far beyond the virtual world.

alternatives

Me : How long will I be here?
manager: why?
me: umm just curious.
manager : why?
me: want to get transferred to my original office.
manager: why?
me: i don't like this place.
manager: why? because the place is nice thats why? because the food is good thats why?
me: its not like that. i'm just used to that place and have lots of friends there.
manager: you will be here till the end of february.
me: is it not possible to get transferred earlier?
manager: yes, put down your papers and thats it.
me(in my head): ( wtf? why do i need to resign to get transferred?)
manager: there is no third alternative. ( where was the first one neways?)
me: ( walks away from manager with head down, shocked and angry, mumbling a half hearted thank you)
manager: i will see if i can get it done earlier that that.
me: ( yea you scumbag....i owe you my life) yes sir.

sweet memories....where are they?

Childhood and years at college are often associated with memories, sweet and funny. Images of friends and yesterdays bringing smiles and tears. how often do we hear people talking about that uncle, this neighbour, that naughty cousin, how they played in slush, in the rain, in the fields, having such a good time in college, always bringing a smile and occasionally laughter at the very thought.

But when people ask me about my childhood, all i give them is a blank stare. What really happened in my childhood? Or for that matter my college days? Why is it that i don't remember being a child? what went on through all those years of schooling and college education? All the events, incidents that i do remember is simply with the help of other people. what is the most memorable thing to have happend to you? no clue. did you have a great time in college? Nothing that i remember.

friends will part but the memories of the times spent with them will always remain. I do remember my friends but the time spent with them? I dont know. I was always a dreamer, always lost in my own sweet little paradise.

I didnt have a childhood, I didn't have an adolescence, I'll never know if i was a teenager or attended college, save for my university marks sheets.

What is it that blocks my memories?

Born in the wrong era....episode 2

The mad hatter is back....this time with an argument. This is a logical argument to prove that it is not possible to create a function which generates random numbers...ever!!!

So, let us start off by assuming that we do have a function which generates random numbers. Now, given our obsession with computers, let us implement the damn thing using whatever programming language we want.

let us say we first generate some number using a generate button which activates the function.

now consider two cases: the number generated after the button is hit at time t, and the number generated after the button is hit at time t+t'

will the two numbers be the same?

If the answer is no, then it would seem that the function is dependent on time, which makes it non random.

if the answer is yes, then the function is predictable and hence it is non random.

so there you go...my argument as to why a random function cannot be generated.

but is there something called as dependant and independent random functions? if yes, then my argument holds good for a dependent random function

dreams

I've been trying to learn the guitar for around three months now ( i've calculated that by the number of times i've paid up for the classes...and i'm not very regular at that). I've always wanted to play the flamenco style. Check out the video.

This guy says its not flamingo or flamenco...am not too sure what the difference is..but what i do envy is the ease with which his fingers cruise along the fretboard. In other videos of his, he plays certain pieces so fast, it becomes difficult to even hum those pieces. How long will it take before i can play like that?

I'm trying people...just be patient and save your money for my album :-)

bored

here's what i do :
rise early morn
n go to the loo
dress up n wait for the horn

board the damn bus
wade through the shitty traffic
all this to be done without a fuss
inspite of the journey being so horrific

At my desk, my comp i unlock
eagerly to see if i've got some work
but afsos, at my door it doesn't at all knock
so while away my time like a jerk

watching anime
playing games
talking crap
looking at dames

back onto the bus i go
through the traffic stupid
my wierd little backpack in tow
my sense of optimism insipid

of this monotony
i am bored
i got into it for the money
but now im bored

Striving to be someone else

Children, they're all content with what they have

Content with the way they are,

Not concerned about what others have and how others look and behave.





Wonder why

a person develops an attitude so sly

As age comes by.





I am pretty sure 99% of humanity goes through a phase wherein they would envy even their best friends or their closest relatives. And its all about the money, the looks, the popularity: abundantly present on the other side of the fence, always lacking with oneself. It always starts out with observation which then leads one to compare. After the comparision comes the effort to match the person envied or even outclass him/her. Failed efforts will result in envy or self pity or an inferiority complex or a combination of these. Successful campaigns would result in the observation of a higher "achiever", and the process keeps repeating. This behaviour however seems to exhibit some good: it acts as a motivational factor to people to bring out whatever they've got in order to excel in what they think they're good at. The question is, at what cost? What would happen to competition if everyone were happy and content with what they have, how they look? The fact is today, there are billions of dollars floating around various industries which thrive on this very emotion of human beings. There are a few lucky birds who do find nuggets of gold in their "better than thou" quest.

Born in the wrong era - The series

This is the first of the many utterly and thoroughly useless inventions and discoveries I’ve made over the last 23 years….which, I guess, would have made me a very eminent personality, had I existed, maybe somewhere in the Stone Age. Please note, in case you use it for any profit, you ought the share the spoils with me…THIS IS COPYRIGHT MATERIAL!!!!!

Calculator Square Addition Law ( CSA law).

We all know how the numbers are arranged in a calculator. For those who do not know what a calculator looks like or how numbers are arranged in it...here's a sample

1. The first step is to select any number with more than one digit ( by number i mean an integer. Also make sure that there is no zero in the number). eg. say 123.
2. Then choose the addition operator. ( Punch the "+" button)
3. Now turn the calculator upside down and re-arrange the numbers so that they are arranged in the original format as shown in the pic. ( Note: this arrangement should be done in your head...do not try to remove the buttons of the calculator).
4. Now retype the same number. earlier we had chosen 123. So now when we retype 123 in our imagined re-arranged calculator, we would be punching 987 in the real calculator.
5. Hit the "=" button.

In our example here the answer would turn out to be 1110. Now here's essence of my law: The result of the entire operation will have only 1 zero and a number of ones in the answer. The zero will always occupy the units place. The number of ones are determined by the number of digits in the original number you've chosen.

Note: For the law to work, you HAVE to choose an integer with more than one digit and with no zeros in it.

More crap from my creative stables in subsequent posts.

intelligence

Michael Crichton has based his latest novel "Prey" on a concept called rule based agents. It basically states that a group of entities, each acting on a certain set of rules and having a certain amount of memory, interact with each other and evolve to come up with solutions; which at times are truly out-of-the-box.

What's interesting is that among these agents, there is no single agent which commands and controls how the entire group or each agent ought to work. It is plain, simple interaction and mutual understanding based on a set of rules implanted in them, based on what type of problem they ought to solve. Mind you, these are not a set of rules which, if followed, would lead you to the solution. These are probably rules which tell the agents what situations are illegal( something like division by zero).

The best example of the power of this concept would be wikipedia and the open source movement. I don't think i would have to elaborate on how rapidly things have progressed with these two. Even colonies of ants and bees act as rule based agents ( the queen in this case is nominal. She doesn't direct any ant. However the basic rule implanted in the ants psyche is that she should be protected at all costs). Individual cells of our bodies are all programmed to grow and reproduce before they die. As mentioned in my previous post, it also seems that we all work for the sustenance of the human race.

Though examples of this kind abound everywhere around us, we also come across in our natural world, solutions born out of a completely different and contracdictory concept: heirarchy. This is something people are probably more familiar with and can relate to better. We see heirarchy at work in basically all forms of governance; be it in school, corporates, society, governments, groups of mammals ( pride of lions, herd of elephants etc ). What's intriguing is that entities which are quite small and therefore have very small or almost no brain at all, rely on the rule based agents concept to survive. And man, do they do it in style... the sheer complexity of how the entire system of a mammal works would certainly get even the brightest of people scratching their heads...and this seems to be almost perfect. Yet as we go higher up, we find species having bigger brains and bigger memories, signs of greater intelligence....this ideally should have translated into more complex and amazing ways for survival. But alas, here we see the heirarchial mentality creeping in.

Question: Does heirarchy come into play when there is an element of fear? Or is it the most natural way of problem solving?

Deciding which system is better suited for problem solving is debatable. Whatever the case may be, we live in a world which runs on these two powerful yet completely contradictory concepts, and have been doing so since ages....without a hitch!!!

Adieu to gvc

Tuesday was my last day at gvc.
Though still with cogni,
I am about to embark on something i thought was unlikely.
Call it fate , call it destiny,
but even before I joined JSS as a trainee,
I was asked to go to coimbatore to get trained in ess-ae-pee.
What followed was a dream turned reality;
Met a great gang at the academy
who never studied JAVA played CS constantly
My entry into ASG
and befriending a great set of people subsequently
was truely a gift from the almighty.
But tuesday happened to be the last day at gvc;
life looked good @ ess-ae-pee.
food free, transport free, expresso capuccino biscuits free
Ah! fulfillment of a long standing fantasy!!!!
Yet keeping up with lifes irony,
i was sad, for it was my last day @gvc
All my friends, when will i next see?
but hey, that is how it will always be
in the past distance has separated me
from some very good friends from school,college and RV
i had to move on, my heart sad and heavy

This is Life's irony!!!
What is joy without a little sorrow?

silence

Silence speaks a thousand words
Though speaking aloud
Makes you heard.
But when words fail to convey
What your heart wants to say
It is silence
Who makes its voice heard.
At times its presence
Seems discomforting

life began thus for me
today minus years twenty three
wading through rocks and stone
I stand here, nothing but flesh and bone.

Striving hard, that one purpose to find
To quench that longing thirst of mind
For without it, in lonely despair I wait
To peacefully enter the pearly gates.

Hope and faith, its all what i have
In destiny and in God above
Life in retrospect does seem empty
For a man who had ambitions plenty.

With broken armour I go from here
Not knowing if my end is far or near
This battle lost, but still keeps on going
To reach a target of no knowing